Thalpos-Mental Health

Why women stay in abusive relationships?

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Why women stay in abusive relationships?

By the Psychologist of "Thalpos Kalamata" Evie Tsikrikou

One in three women worldwide have suffered physical or sexual violence - mostly by her partner. Whether this pattern of behavior occurs at home or on the road, during peace or war, violence against women is a global pandemic that takes place in public and private places. (

The UN General Assembly, in its decision of December 17, 1999, proclaimed November 25 as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women in order to highlight that major problem with global dimensions.

In case abuse derives from partner or spouse is called domestic violence and it is common that woman subjected to violence is of low educational level and income dominates. Undoubtedly, it is a false belief. In fact, education and income of victim and perpetrator are not restraining factors for such incidents. Actually, according to surveys, despite the fact that women have some people on whom can count and in case of escape women can have a shelter, they keep accepting the violent behavior. So the question that rationally arises is: "Why don‘t they just leave?"#WhyIStayed

Most women identify themselves through their relationship

There are many women who cannot or are afraid of staying alone. Some even believe that only within a relationship or marriage have value as social beings. Seemingly, a woman may look like a dynamic and independent person, but actually she draws her confidence and sense of value through being part of a relationship, since she feels powerless to react and leave.

Women don’t want to part with safety provided by their partner

Social and not economic security, due to the fact that we live in a world where the image of a married woman is always better than that of an unmarried, regardless of what may happen at her home.

Sometimes, women confuse violence with love

Although in most cases there are no economic reasons women remain in violent relationships, for many different psychological reasons they involve themselves in such relationships. Because they confuse violence and abuse with love and interest, especially in cases that during their childhood they used to live in a household with violence.

Fear of uncertainty keeps women staying

A woman’s life needs to be around herself and not by her partner, because basing her happiness on him, she loses herself. On the other hand, women tend to rely on men to feel well, thus losing the sense of reality. Even in a violent relationship, every small act of kindness by her husband looks like a boon for them. They desire attention in whatever form, they prefer this rather than not at all. Of course, such a situation indicates low confidence in so far as psychopathology, where help by a mental health professional is required. This is an unhealthy dependence, where the unknown future away from their man creates intense fear of uncertainty.

Women put up with violence in a relationship in order to keep it alive

For centuries it had been believed that patriarchal violence - women thought that they are responsible for men violent behavior - is the reason why most women even now keep finding excuses and put up with such behaviors: "This is the last time...”.  “He has been much stressed, I should have expressed understanding...” etc. There are reasons galore why women think they are much better along with such men than leaving. Another important reason is that women equate the end of a relationship with a failed life and that’s why they make extreme behavior to maintain it.

It is important to mention that many women put up with abuse out of fear for their lives, as the legislation has been proven insufficient to protect them.

All above are not excuses for women who endure violent situations, but some of the causes. Causes that need to be understood by them and the rest of people in order the compassion needed to be expressed in the most appropriate way.